Matters of the Heart

Anxiety wears a man down. Regular suggestions of what could go wrong and how this or that will turn out, can make the heart paralyzed with fear. In reaction to avoid the anticipated circumstances, a person may choose a lifestyle that numbs the fear in excess living or excessive expression of lifestyle choices. Trouble is fear does not respect any person’s status in life. It can plague the CEO or the janitor. The CEO could create long-term strategies that are rigid and not flexible to avoid the fear of loss and perhaps in the process lose out on creativity, a different approach of solving a challenge. The janitor may avoid going back to College for fear of failing or actually being successful.

Every person displays their fears in many different ways.  Some are subtle some are mildly portrayed others are quite loud and obvious. One way is by intimidation,  manipulation and control, to calm down one’s own fears and lack of self-control.  This is merely projecting and justifying one’s behavior such that recipients of such manipulation may find themselves confused and wondering what they could do better.  You may have encountered this: I wonder what mood the boss is in today. Unchallenged this continues until someone calls this out as not acceptable. I remember working for a manager who got everyone into tears because they were corrected like children, if they made any mistake in their work, and yet these were grown adults. In a non assuming way I picked up on this and mentioned how wrong it was.  From then on all the regular compliments about me stopped, but I stood my ground because I did not expect to be treated as such.

You don’t have to be confrontational about it. Calmly ask why this is the best method of correcting a member of staff, and that it is not working. You have two results. One the offending party may accept their style does not work and respect you for addressing the issue or they may continue to act as if they are not wrong. Either way you hold your ground. Manipulation and control is not acceptable however subtle, for it can only get worse. It should not be the normal to go to work feeling anxious and afraid, whatever work you do.  Its your human right to go to work feeling you have a significant contribution to bring to your work place and refuse to take on another person’s fears and anxieties.

It’s a heart matter.  Holding onto fears only makes things worse, and affects all  interpersonal relationships. And whats worse is not knowing you are holding on to some type of fear.  Discover where your security lies, that is the clue of where your fears spring from.

 

 

 

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