Maybe like me you had to learn the hard way or maybe you have not yet encountered this problem. My solution was self-taught and have since taught to my children. I discovered some years back that being a young mom there is was so much demand on my undivided attention. time. Sometimes I wondered if I would do it right. Going to work coming back home, tired and without a chance to think about my day, another set of demands takes place.
You may have had the luxury of a nanny, but most of us do not. We have to do it all by ourselves. But as a young mom I was determined to do it right. So I made a giant leap and relocated for work and for starting a new life. In the process I learnt that others come first. My work also involved caring for others for almost 18 years. It is then fair to say, it became second nature.
Nothing wrong with this, but then why are one of the highest causes of stress careers that involve caring for others? This was not the natural way of learning how to care for others, for me caring was connected with monetary reward. Admittedly when I switched careers, I had to unlearn all this and re-establish another way of caring for others. How can you develop healthy boundaries of caring for yourself nurturing your own soul and caring for others too making them know you care for them? How do you keep healthy boundaries in relationships including nurturing potential ones?
1. Rediscover who you are without attaching any monetary value, your life is not for sale to the highest bidder. Life is more than earning a living. That is less than God’s best for any of us.
2. Take time out if you have a hectic schedule, a sabbatical if you wish, it couldn’t hurt to do so. This is so empowering, as it puts you in control of your life, without feeling your life is run by your career or boss or clients or family. It makes you see that you have options, take another course or study further.
3. Take time to reassess what you are really good at and what you can do to make those skills better. This is more than empowering, being a master at what you know, becoming an expert. It builds your self-confidence, being good at something.
4. Refuse to enter into any agreements verbal or non verbal that keep you in a weak or vulnerable position. Take time to think about it, even stating to get back with an answer when you have thought about it. Refuse to be pressured into making any decision. You will get offers that are hard to resist, but to make sure you are not the weakest link, politely decline until you have thought about it.
Personal boundaries keep you in the driving seat of your life, without laying blame on others. Someone said if you blame someone else about where you are in life now, it then means there is nothing you can do about it at all. That in itself is too much power to give anyone.