This is a hot one. Perhaps you’re wondering who is Mr or Miss disconnected. You might be the one who finds yourself disconnected from…. you. You set out at the start of the year to do this and that, walk away from relationships you’re not appreciated, travel here and there, achieve this and that, but the smallest diversion or reward and your goals are quickly thrown out the window. Yes that easily. You put off the ‘personal relationships discussion’ or get angry when confronted and not sure why. Most people don’t understand who they are imagine the pressure of trying to understand you! Either way this is a great one for discussion.
A person’s thoughts words and actions must be in perfect alignment to be complete and satisfied in who they are and the world they live in. A disconnected person says one thing but does another. To become a fully connected person is to line up your thoughts words and actions with your values your personal belief system, becoming one person at peace with all of you.
That is why a person can say they want to get out of bad relationships but keep explaining away the behavior of their ‘new found love’. This person does not really believe on a deep level they deserve better.
This is one of the challenges of today’s relationships. Few people are willing to just work on who they are and who they want to become. It seems easier to find someone else to fix to deflect the spotlight on their own inadequacies. No one’s perfect but to stay the same going around the same issue over years is…tiring. You run out of resources to keep up the facade.
Everything has it’s price. So if you fall in love with someone who does not want to work on who they are, you will buy cheaply…into Mr or Miss Disconnected. Waiting really does have it’s benefits. If you want quality people in your life, you have to become a person of value. Investing in you allowing life to chip off your rough edges so the diamond you truly are can shine. At that stage no cheap buyers will come near you. You raised your value.
Disconnected people always seem completely sincere. They even do all the right things at the start of the relationship. Work or romance related, but over time what they really believe springs up. In work they are ready to go, but have not pursued a promotion in years. They don’t believe they’re good enough for more. All they need to do is ask. If you’re rejected atleast you get to know why.
This type of person (the disconnected) always seems to mean well, but totally frustrating to work and live with, worse if you have a business agreement with or married to one. The disconnected person finds it hard to follow through with their goals or commitments. Break up with this kind can be messy and dramatic. Never own up to their shortcomings. Trying to please disconnected is a full time career with no pension plan. Eventually all you want is out.
I want to cover more on this addiction to disconnected persons. But over to you. Do you know someone who struggles to break the pattern of poor relationships? or how you overcame this? What’s the best advice you’ve received about poor relationships?